My thoughts on 13 Reasons Why

I haven't read the book, so this is about the Netflix series. I'm off my book game...again. Something just isn't grabbing me about the book I'm trying to read now. It's not that it's not good, it's just that I don't care, I guess. So I wanted to talk about this instead.

This is such a tough show to watch. I'm not sure I've ever seen anything as difficult. In case you live under a rock, here's the TL:DR version. A girl commits suicide and leaves seven tapes behind with an explanation as to why she did this. Each side is dedicated to one person who impacted her decision. Through the tapes and her narration you see what she experienced. We managed to watch it in two days, but I think it's better to not binge this one. You need time to process what you are watching. 

But most importantly I think it needs to be watched. Many people are talking about how it glamorizes suicide and will make kids want to try it. I really think that's missing the point. Suicide isn't going to go away by avoidance. It needs to be addressed head on and the only way to do that is something like this. It shows the impact on the people around the person considering suicide, not that that's a good enough reason to give a suicidal person in order to stop them. Piling on more guilt only does more harm than good. But it does let a person see that people do care what happens to them.

I think the biggest impact this show can have is for those people around a suicidal person. Describe a suicidal person. What do they look like? What symptoms do they show? What symptoms did Hannah show to the people around her? Not a single person around her thought she was capable of doing this. Not a single person around her recognized signs. And there were signs, from the more obvious mood swings that she had with Clay, to the more subtle cutting her hair. Even the act itself was a final desperate cry for help. There was always the chance that someone would come home in time to rescue her. Otherwise, she would have turned the water off and her mom would have found her much later. That is the most important lesson this show can teach you, that anyone can be suicidal, that your words can have far more impact on a person than you could ever imagine, and that should make you careful. 

Perhaps the best alternative is for families to watch it together and talk about what they are watching. People who read the negativity are missing the chance to teach and learn valuable lessons. Trying to recognize the damage in others and, at the very least, not adding to it, is something we all need to learn. No man is an island, but sometimes it feels that way. Just reaching out can save a life.

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